With three-year-old B, brother of A2, who visits my class nearly every morning:
Me: "Hello, B. What's going on today?"
Me: "No, it's not Sunday. It's Tuesday."
B: "Ha ha! That sounds like the number two!"
Me: "Well, it is the second day of the school week. But what I meant was not what day is it, but what is happening today?"
B: "Windy all day."
Me: "Perhaps so, B. But, more specifically, what people mean when they say 'what's going on?' is what's happening with you in particular."
B: [Pause, then holding up pinky, ring, and middle fingers] "Three."
Me: "Three, eh?"
B: "Three all day."
Me: "Well, it was nice talking to you. Sorry you can't stay."
With my mother and aunt:
Me: "I was over reading a book at a kid's house the other day."
Aunt: "Is that a typical event, or a one-off?"
Mother: [Completely flabbergasted] "One off? What does that mean? One off what?"
Aunt: "It's an expression meaning one time."
Mother: "Why not say that, then? Why not say 'Are you doing that just the once?' What is this off business? You're not Jazzy Jeff and the French Prince! What are you talking that rap slang?"
Aunt: [Laughing too hard to talk]
Me: "Yes, Aunt, why are you talking ebonics?"
Mother: [Totally baffled] "Bonics? What are bonics? What are you talking about now?"
Me: "That's the language the French Prince speaks."