A second grade teacher asks a student in her class to use "I" in a sentence.
Student: "I is---"
Teacher: "Stop right there! We never say 'I is.' We must always say 'I am.' Now, go on."
Student: "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
***
CEO to a teacher, at a dinner party: "Sure, my salary is large, but I'm an important guy. I feel like a person's professional worth is related to what they make. So tell me, what do you make?"
Teacher: "I make a difference. Do you?"
***
...Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
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