Thursday, March 06, 2008

What people like

Despite ostensibly having a lot to talk about in Real Life --- the still fairly new job, the new room, the kids, etc. --- I find my blogging impulse a bit dulled lately.

So here's a stupid-ass meme that Samurai Frog did (originally here). It's supposed to be a list of things white people like, I think.

#01 Coffee. Hate coffee, always have, never drank it. It's too bitter for me.

#02 Religions their [white peoples'] parents don't belong to. I don't care who belongs to what religion. If it's a theocratic, vehemently anti-intellectual religion like Islam or Southern Baptism, I want no part of it. If its purpose is genuinely the betterment of the soul, as with some sects of Judaism, Methodism, and Buddhism, that's cool.

#03 Film Festivals. I have no strong feeling here. I've been to at least one. They're pretty cool, but unless the film is otherwise unavailable, I prefer just sitting at home with a DVD, really. I feel no need to talk with other film geeks about the film experience.

#04 Assists. If Frog hadn't mentioned sports in his answer, I wouldn't have had a clue what this meant. As it is, I still don't, except that it's something to do with sports.

#05 Farmer's Markets. Yeah, these are great. The Portland one is the best I've been to, but Manhattan has a nice one, too. There's one in this benighted sprawl of suburbia, but I don't go much. Whole Foods serves my needs. So I won't say I'm a huge fan.

#06 Organic Food. Oh yeah, this is essential. As if large food distributors give a shit about the consumer's health. I like my food untreated with preservatives and carcinogens, thanks.

#07 Diversity. Yeah, this is a good idea. But America's got a lot of class equality to achieve before any kind of real diversity can take hold.

#08 Barack Obama. Yes. I just talked about him here.

#09 Making you feel bad about not going outside. No, I won't do that. If anything, other people are going to tell me to go outside.

#10 Wes Anderson Movies. They're okay. You can be assured of a pleasantly quirky film when you see a Wes Anderson vehicle. I'm not a rabid fan or anything.

#11 Asian Girls. Don't care one way or another. I have no fetish for any kind of ethnicity. I find that rather creepy. I prefer thinking about character and intelligence than country of provenance.

#12 Non-Profit Organizations. Some are good, some are bad. Depends on who's running it and what its aims are and how effective its projects are.

#13 Tea. I like tea, but don't drink nearly as much of it as my English father does. It's just not a habit that became deep rooted. Too bad, because everything you read says how good it is for you.

#14 Having Black Friends. I don't have any. In fact, I don't think I've ever had any. Acquaintances, co-workers, sure. Not friends like "come on over and watch a movie" friends. This country has some serious race and class issues, but then, I'm probably to blame a bit too. I'm not exactly the hand-reaching-out-type. It should be noted, however, that I only have about five friends total anyway, three of whom I've known 20 years. I'm not a social butterfly.

#15 Yoga. I ought to do it, because it's supremely healthy, and it really does help calm the inner turmoil. But I don't. Bad associations with exes are partly the reason.

#16 Gifted Children. I'm always impressed by gifted children, sure, but I'd rather hear the normal kind chatter on about their crazy ideas. Kids are so weird, man.

#17 Hating their Parents. I've always loved my father, despite his stupid addictions that have wrecked his life. My mother, I have some issues with. She's batshit crazy, and I just can't seem to get past the fact that she didn't know how to be a mother when my brother and I were younger. I pity her, because her life isn't very pleasant, and I want to be serene as a monk in the face of her idiosyncrasies and tirades, but it never works out that way.

#18 Awareness. What the hell does this mean? Awareness of global warming? Politics? Your tongue? Your navel?

#19 Traveling. I like being traveled. I like being in France and England. I like that I went to India. But I don't feel a burning desire to do the traveling.

#20 Being an expert on YOUR [white; this should be "their"] culture. No, I'm not an expert on white people, or English people. I probably know as much about Chinese history as I do British history.

#21 Writers Workshops. No, don't care.

#22 Having Two Last Names. No, don't care.

#23 Microbreweries. No, I don't drink beer. It's too bitter.

#24 Wine. No, I can take or leave wine. I prefer white. I like it when someone introduces me to a wine that I do like, but I never bother to remember it so I can have it again. I drink cider and vodka.

#25 David Sedaris. I do like him. He's funny as hell. I've read one of his books. he's a good monologist, too.

#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!). Yes. It's a fantastic place, perhaps one of the three best cities in the world.

#27 Marathons. Do not care at all.

#28 Not having a TV. This is me. I don't have one. I find 99% of television pandering, idiotic, and insidious. The good shows I watch as God intended --- on DVD, at my own pace, without commercials, which are Satan's farts.

#29 '80s Night. I do not give a crap about the '80s or any other decade in and of itself. Actually, come to think of it, I find the '80s to be the most offensive of all the decades I'm familiar with.

#30 Wrigley Field. Don't care.

#31 Snowboarding. This is a retarded sport for retarded people. Or, I'm jealous of their extreme athleticism. Perhaps a little of both.

#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism. It's a good idea, for both the health of the individual and the health of the planet, but it'll never catch on.

#33 Marijuana. It never did anything for me. I don't care. If you want to light up, go for it, man. I'm high on life. And the weird imbalance of chemicals in my brain.

#34 Architecture. I don't care about what the building looks like 90% of the time. But a master architect, of course, can create wonders as well as a master painter can.

#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report. I like them both. Both of them are living meta-commentary on America's idiot media machine.

#36 Breakfast places. I loved the old Hot Cake House, and Fat Albert's, both in Portland. Here, there's not much aside from chains, and I don't want that crap. I can make my own eggs, and better than they can.

#37 Renovations. I don't care at all about whatever this means.

#38 Arrested Development. Yes. A very funny show.

#38.5 Really really really long stupid-ass memes that take over an hour to fill out. No, I hate these.

#39 Netflix. Yes, I've mentioned several times on this blog how much I love Netflix. If I were a dog and Netflix were a leg, there'd be a lot of humpin' going on.

#40 Apple Products. No, I'm a PC guy. I do not care at all about iPods or iPhones or any of that high-tech yuppie shit that they try to make Americans think they can't live without.

#41 Indie Music. I don't know what an "indie music" is.

Tired now. I will save the other stupid-ass things for another time.


Churlita said...

I don't quite get the whole stereotyping thing. I know tons of people of every race who smoke weed and like Obama and hate their parents.

DJSassafrass said...

I'm learning that many non-profits are (sadly) not quite right. I really wanted to be a person who changed the world...but I don't need a crummy non-profit job to do that!