I'm junk but I'm still holding up this little wild bouquet

Time to do another of those spam survey things. This one is fifty questions about the music.

1. What are you listening to right now?
Police, "Message In a Bottle."

2. What song makes you sad?
So very many. The one that springs immediately to mind is Billy Bragg's "You Woke Up My Neighborhood." Not only is it about the dissolution of a tumultuous relationship, that song is intensely connected in my mind with the morning of a very bad break-up of my own.

3. What is the most annoying song in the world?
I tend to tune out things I don't like rather than sit and absorb whatever crap MTV wants me to "grind" to, so I don't know many songs that I would dislike. But I did recently have to listen to that "My Humps" song. Lord Krishna, what utter garbage. And people get wealthy for that kind of talentless waste.

4. Your all time favorite band?
Can I narrow it down? I'm not sure, but I guess the Clash.

5. Your newly discovered band is?
It's not all that new, but The Hold Steady. I've mentioned these guys a time or two before. True genius.

6. Best female voice?
I don't listen to many female artists, because, frankly, I don't really enjoy the typical female singing voice. My favorite female voices are rather rough around the edges, like my favorite male voices: Liz Phair, Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls, etc.

7. Best male voice?
Bob Dylan, of course.

8. Music type you find yourself listening to most?
Punk.

9. What do you listen to, to hype you up?
Punk.

10. What do you listen to, to calm down?
The more folky stuff, children's music, They Might Be Giants, humorous music like Tom Lehrer.

11a. Last gig/concert you went to?
The Hold Steady. I blogged about it here.

11b. Last BIG band that you saw live?
The Hold Steady are getting pretty famous --- they've got a 4 1/2 star review in Paste Magazine and were interviewed in the Onion AV Club this week alone. But more famous than them are the Flaming Lips.

12. Band you find yourself listening to the most?
Lately, the Hold Steady. In general, Rancid.

13. Most hated band?
I tend to ignore stuff I don't like. I'm sure I'd hate most of the new (sorry, nü) throwback cock rock that the music congolomerates are pushing to the kids these days. I can't think of a band I'd actually give enough of a crap about to muster up genuine hatred. Maybe a white power act.

14. Song that makes you think?
All the music I listen to makes me think. I'm a thinker.

15. Band that you think the world should love as much as you do?
The Hold Steady.

16. Coolest music video?
What the hell is a music video? You mean those little films they used to show on TV when they played the songs? Okay, I'll give three answers. (1) Straight-up coolest of all time: A-ha's "Take On Me." Shut up, you know it's true. (2) Video I watched a lot with some cool cred: Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt." (3) Current nifty (but possibly uncool) video: Weird Al Yankovic's "White And Nerdy." Hee hee, funny.

17. Can you play a musical instrument?
I'm learning to play the recorder for a class in State School. So, no.

18. Ever been in a mosh pit?
No, I haven't been to too many concerts where a mosh pit arose, and also, I'm a wuss.

19. Are you in a band?
No, because I lack even the tiniest shred of understanding of what is meant by key, pitch, rhythm, or tone.

20. Ever dated a musician?
Nope. This survey is making me out to be a bit of a gormless old bore, innit?

21. Do you wish yourself that you were a musician?
To some degree. I think most people do, because of the enormous cool factor attached (not to mention the accompanying chick magnetism). But if a friendly genie gave me a choice of dream careers with fame and respect perks, I'd pick writer over musician.

22. Last song that you heard on the radio, etc?
Couldn't tell you. Haven't listened to commercial music radio in literally years except for hearing a co-worker's radio every once in a while.

23. What do you think of classical music?
I ought to listen to more, because I do like it (at least stuff by the all-time greats) when I hear it, but the rock and roll is just in my soul, baby. Classical is more like background music to me; I have no real connection with it, even if I can appreciate its beauty. Also, I like lyrics.

24. What do you think of country music?
Real country music (Johnny cash, Willie Nelson, Hank Williams, Dwight Yoakam) is great. The prefab pop they play on commercial country radio is pretty bad, and basically just today's pop sung with a southern accent by a guy in a big stupid hat.

25. What do you think of death metal?
I don't give it a thought.

26. Do you listen to music in foreign languages?
A bit. I love Georges Brassens and I have several compilations of other world music. I think I like the Afro-pop the best.

27. What famous musician would you like to have sex with?
Liz Phair.

28. Worst concert moment?
You know, I'm starting to think it was the Flaming Lips show. I was just kind of disappointed in the whole thing.

29. Funny concert moment?
The Hold Steady were funny all the way through, not from telling jokes or anything, but just from a carefree, tongue in cheek attitude they evinced. Their opening act Sean Na Na was unintentionally funny, because Friar and I made fun of them (and the singer's ass-crack) a lot. Jonathan Richman was funny. I guess I can't think of a funny moment.

30. Sad concert moment?
I can't remember being sad at a concert, except of course for times I happened to be dwelling on unrelated sad stuff in my life anyway. No concert has done something to make me sad.

31. Best local act you can think of?
Hmmmm. Sonar's very good. The now-defunct band on Friar's label was awesome. Auric's band is the best, but they're hardly local anymore.

32. If you were a musical instrument what would you be?
what kind of drum gets kicked? I'd be that kind.

33. Do you watch music TV?
Does this still exist? No. I don't have a TV in my house, but if I did, and if I had that really specialized cable that showed a variety of music video channels, I probably would watch it.

34. Do you follow the music charts, like the top 40?
There are few things in life that I care less about, honestly.

35. Have you met any famous musicians?
Yes.

36. Are any of your friends/family etc musicians?
Yes.

37. Lyric that best describes your feelings right now?
"I've thought so much about suicide, parts of me have already died." ---The Old 97's, "Lonely Holiday"

38. Lyric that describes your life?
"Oh Lord, if you made me, it's easy to see that you all make mistakes up above." ---Greg Brown, "Lord I Have Made You a Place In My Heart"

39. Do you know the names of all the band members that you listen to?
That would be quite a feat of memorization on my part. I can barely remember the names of people I've met.

40. Does a musician’s physical attractiveness play a role in the music that you listen to?
Not at all.

41. Favorite movie sound track?
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

42. What music do your parents listen to?
My mother listens to no music whatsoever. She hates all music. My father, while no audiophile, listens to French singers, Irish rebel songs, bluegrass and folk, German marches, Tom Waits, the Pogues, the Doors, Johnny cash, sea shanties, and a lot of other varied stuff.

43. Do you wear band T-shirts?
I have a few. When I go to a concert, I try to get a T-shirt as a souvenir.

44. What music sub-culture do you feel like you belong to?
The thirty-something, chart-ignoring, genre-spanning whiteboy genre. it is informed by '80s nostalgia, memories of '70s classic rock, and those blissful heady college years (cue up R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World As We Know It...")

45. Do you sing in the shower?
Oh, no. See answer to #19 regarding my utter lack of skill.

46. Would you rather marry a musician or be one yourself?
I think being married to a musician might be stressful. The road offers many temptations to the touring artist, surrounded by adoring groupies...

47. How important is your partner's taste in music to you?
Well, I wouldn't want her to listen to white power punk, but if she liked stuff I hate, that'd be okay with me. We'd just have to learn to deal.

48. Hanson moves in next door to you, do you go introduce yourself, or do you arrange to beat them up?
I'd be perfectly pleasant. Their music is no more or less offensive than any other prefab pop. I would, however, loudly sing "Mmmbop" every time I passed one of them in the street, so they'd probably hate me.

49. Sex, Drugs or Rock 'n' Roll?
To tell you the truth, the only one I really couldn't live with is rock 'n' roll.

50. Now what are you listening to?
The Pogues, "Young Ned Of the Hill." This useless survey took thirteen songs to fill out.