Sunday, April 02, 2006

If I want your opinion I'll ask ya

A burning heart could be so cool
Won’t you be my fashion victim
Come on, I’m an April fool for you
--- Soul Asylum, "April Fool"

Lots of needless drama today.

The Maddening Angel called and asked me to meet her for lunch. I said yes, and asked her to call Spooky to join us. Spooky got pissed, because somehow I had blown her off by doing this, even though the two of us hadn't made any plans for lunch. So I had to call Spooky myself and calm her down and convince her to come and pick her up, and the three of us had lunch at a Mexican place. We had margaritas, and believe me I needed one. Spooky acted irritatingly passive-aggressive with MA --- she's clearly jealous. Since MA and I have never been anything but friends, and MA has a boyfriend, her jealousy is misplaced. Sure, MA and I are playful and have a tight emotional bond, so I can see a little cause for a small twinge of resentment there. But there's no reason to get petty, and I'm sorry, I'm not going to act as if I don't like MA very much just because Spooky and I are dating. I had to apologize for Spooky later.

After I dropped Spooky off at home, I went to MA's place, where we watched a little TV, then took our mutual (but mostly her) friend K out for ice cream. K's been depressed lately; she's always feeling a little sorry for herself, but this time her grandmother is on the decline. So anyway. I got a lot of alone time with MA, and we talked about my problems with Spooky. It helped a bit. At this point, I'm only flirting with the idea of a temporary break or a freeze, and I'm willing to ride these bumps and dramas born of stress out.

But what I can't do is compete with Babydaddy. I realize that I'm competing with Baby herself for Spooky's time --- anyone dating the mother of a small child will have to accept that. But I can't and won't expend effort trying to deal with the fact that Babydaddy --- antisocial, constantly depressed, taciturn Babydaddy --- isn't friendly with me at all. He clearly sees me as an intrusion, and he doesn't help anyone when he calls while Spooky and I are on dates and says her child is crying for her, and it would be best for her and her daughter if she just "came home." Great guzzling Ganesh, writing that down makes how horribly dysfunctional it all is so very, sadly clear.

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