Saturday, December 31, 2005

At the rock show

So, yesterday, after work, the Maddening Angel and I met up at her place. We ordered pizza and watched The Adventures Of Sebastian Cole. (Good film.) We hung around for a while, then went down to where Auric, local music hero of some national repute, was playing with the band. There must have been at least 1500 people there. I talked to all the guys in the band, and met Muffin, Anacreon, the Friar and others. Everyone assumed that MA was my girlfriend, of course, which is rather awkward. Anyway, we hung out backstage, got to flash all-access passes, that kind of thing.

Oh, and Auric even mentioned my name from on stage when he sang the French song.

After the show, MA and I joined Friar at the Hangout, where I topped off the growing drunk I'd been working on. MA got very hungry suddenly, as is her wont, so we went to her house where we ate more pizza, and watched some movie together on her tiny couch. Just as we were both dropping off, her boyfriend called. She said she was just about to pass out, and did not mention that I was there. Even though there seemed to be no reason for it, I'm fairly sure that he said something about me, to which she replied, "No. Chance is my friend." Is he jealous? If so, is he right to be? He's the one having sex with her. He'd probably have felt a lot worse if I'd chimed in with some comment, my voice six inches from the phone.

She told him she loved him (which made me jealous) and hung up, and we fell asleep, as we have a few times in the past, lying together in each other's arms on the couch. I slept fitfully. Around four o'clock, MA took off her sweater, under which she had a very flimsy half-"shirt" and bra. Nothing I haven't seen before, but... Groan. Did I try any advances? I did not, both because of Mr. Boyfriend and because any such moves would almost certainly be unwelcome. I continued to toss and turn on that narrow couch, and I left groggily around six a.m.

Gad, I hate being the "safe" one.

So you'd think that I should be happy, with a fairly full social life, and (at the holidays at least) a wide variety of friends and acquaintances to hang out with. But when I get back here and sit down at the computer again like some nerdy lonely lump of Lonely Nerd, I get more depressed than ever. I really am searching for some kind of constant companionship.

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