Saturday, February 24, 2007

Instant Messaging with stupid people

First conversation

Jaded (10:41:04 PM): i haven't stepped foot into a gym in a year

Chance (10:41:13 PM): what a lazy, lazy person

Jaded (10:41:29 PM): no, wait, actually i went once last week i think... or maybe it was three weeks ago

Chance (10:41:29 PM): and yet, you maintain your trim, girlish figure. must be a genetic thing.

Jaded (10:41:39 PM): well, i poop alot

Jaded (10:41:44 PM): :-)

Chance (10:41:55 PM): :-O

The next day: Jaded is stressing out over a report she's way, way behind in, that is due the next morning at nine a.m. That established, e-silence ensues for forty minutes or so. Until I make a polite inquiry.

Chance (10:57:38 PM): ALMOST FINISHED????

Jaded (10:57:51 PM): I WILL STAB MY PEN INTO YOUR LEFT EYE

Chance (10:58:08 PM): :-D

Jaded (10:58:22 PM): you're lucky you're not an arm's length distance away from me

Chance (10:58:31 PM): that was a justified response, i gotta admit

More deliberate stupidity ensues, and of course it's not too long before the threats are made.

Chance (11:01:16 PM): well, i'll do it, but i don't see how it would help

Jaded (11:01:43 PM): THAT'S THE WHOLE CORE OF THE ASSIGNMENT

Chance (11:01:47 PM): WHAT IS

Jaded (11:01:59 PM): THE OUTLINE WE HAVE TO MAKE

Chance (11:02:02 PM): HUH?

Jaded (11:02:29 PM): i'm gonna bring this damn textbook to class next time just to hit you with it

Chance (11:03:29 PM): well, i'm going to twist your arm around 360 degrees

Jaded (11:04:23 PM): i'll strangle you with my legs!!!!!!!!

Chance (11:04:24 PM): WOW

Chance (11:04:30 PM): that sounds pretty cool actually

Chance (11:04:47 PM): not a bad way to go

Jaded (11:05:09 PM): though it'd be a slow death

Chance (11:05:09 PM): even better

Jaded (11:05:14 PM): cutting off the circulation

Jaded (11:05:28 PM): blood vessels popping throughout the body...

Chance (11:05:31 PM): i'll say!

At least one of us was enjoying the double entendres. I left out another conversation about her "juicy mangoes." Really, she has no idea what she's saying.

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