Lately I've been pretty reclusive. Maddening Angel called me a few times, and I ducked the calls. I didn't really even know why. I just don't have anything much to say to anyone. Well, sociability goes in cycles, I suppose.
So, in lieu of anything remotely resembling content, here are 100 things I have either done or not done, gacked from Samurai Frog.
Have you ever:
1. Smoked cigarettes: Aside from acting like a doofus and "trying" a single cigarette on two occasions five and ten years back, I've never smoked. Lots and lots of second-hand smoke, though, from parents and friends who smoke constantly.
2. Smoked a cigar: Never.
3. Broken a CD: Oh, many, many times.
4. Crashed a friend's car: Never.
5. Stolen a car: Never.
6. Been in love: A few times.
7. Been dumped: Once, but it was big.
8. Shoplifted: Oh yes, petty youthful shenanigans.
9. Been fired: Never.
10. Been in a fist fight: A couple of times. And, if I were ten years younger, I'd add, "And I'll kick your ass, too," because I'm rather a strong person, and at one point quite vicious. But, now that I'm 36, and not very big to begin with, I'm guessing a lot of giganto frat boys could pummel me. I have calmed down quite a bit since high school and college.
11. Snuck out of your house: I don't think so. My parents were incredibly lax. For the last year of high school I was out until 4 and 5 a.m. routinely, and no one ever said boo.
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back: Oh, of course. Constantly, perhaps.
13. Been arrested: Nope, I'm clean.
14. Made out with a stranger: I'm not the kind of guy that women want to make out with on sight. They have to fall for my wit and charm, since my looks aren't going to get me anywhere.
15. Gone on a blind date: Never.
16. Lied to a friend: Like the Frog said, I've lied to everyone I know.
17. Had a crush on a teacher: I suppose so, but can't recollect specific instances.
18. Skipped school: When my brother and I were younger, my father would keep us home on the slightest pretext. We loved that. Given my own responsibility in high school, I never skipped. In college, though, different story. Lots of craziness there, both good and bad. Staying up way too late and then going out to a late lunch instead of to that crucial afternoon seminar. That kind of thing.
19. Slept with a co-worker: Oh, yes.
20. Seen someone die: No, and I hope never to.
21. Been on a plane: Many, many times. Seriously, what American hasn't? Hard-core Amish people?
22. Thrown up in a bar: Not in the bar itself, no.
23. Taken painkillers: Oh sure, but I don't recall the whys and wherefores of it. I tend to eschew all manner of painkillers as a rule; I prefer to gauge my pain and master it. But at the dentist and such? Sure.
24. Love someone or miss someone right now: No, not really.
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by: I may have done that, long ago.
26. Made a snow angel: I have a specific memory of having done that, long ago.
27. Played dress up: What the hell does that mean? Like, for my own amusement? As a sex game? Whatever it is, probably not.
28. Cheated while playing a game: Oh, my, yes! I've been a very reprehensible cheat in my time.
29. Been lonely: Like the Frog said, most of my life.
30. Fallen asleep at work/school: I have fallen asleep in college, and I must say during nap time at work I've probably drifted off a bit deeper than is permissible for the supposedly responsible adult on the premises to do.
31. Used a fake id: Never had one. I went to a couple of bars back when I was a minor, but somehow got in without resort to trickery. Even though I looked about ten years old when I was 17.
32. Felt an earthquake: Oh, yes. You can't live in California without having gone through a quake. A few in Oregon, too. Minor stuff, though in CA we were evacuated for a bit.
33. Touched a snake: Yes.
34. Ran a red light: A few times.
35. Been suspended from school: No.
36. Had detention: I think I had detention back in seventh grade. I got into minor trouble, was assigned an after-school study hall, and forgot to go. So I had to go to Saturday detention, where geeky, studious me was lumped in with all the regular delinquents, who mocked my intention to actually do homework while I was there.
37. Been in a car accident: Yes, a few.
38. Hated the way you look: Till the day I die, baby!
39. Witnessed a crime: Yes.
40. Pole danced: I think the sight of me pole dancing would cause death by uncontrollable derisive laughter in any unfortunate observers.
41. Been lost: Many, many times. I have the worst sense of direction in the entire world, seriously.
42. Been to the opposite side of the country: Please. I've lived on the opposite side of the country.
43. Felt like dying: Oh yes, especially by my own hand.
44. Cried yourself to sleep: Yeah, probably.
45. Played cops and robbers: Well, we played like we were knights with stick swords and trash can lid shields.
46. Sang karaoke: No, I am the worst singer in the entire world. Painfully, painfully bad. Not the "so bad it's funny" kind of bad. The "just please stop now" kind of bad.
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't: Who hasn't? Hell, I've broken that kind of promise within the hour!
48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose: Yeah, I think so.
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue: Yes.
50. Kissed in the rain: Probably, but can't remember.
51. Sing in the shower: Occasionally. Quietly.
52. Made love in a park: Yes, in the woods.
53. Had a dream that you married someone: I think so, but not sure.
54. Glued your hand to something: Yes, I glued my hand to my face once, because I am brain-dead. Holy hell. of course not.
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole: No, because I knew what would happen, genius.
56. Worn the opposite sex's clothes: Never.
57. Had an orgasm: Of course.
58. Sat on a roof top: Oh, yes.
59. Didn't take a shower for a week: Yes, a week easily.
60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone: Not often, but sometimes at night. I refrained from watching Jacob's Ladder at night alone, and had to watch it in the comfort of day. I probably wouldn't watch The Shining at night alone.
61. Played chicken: Not so's I was serious about it.
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on: Never.
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger: Yes, surprisingly. Luckily, the ol' self-loathing prevented that from getting anywhere.
64. Broken a bone: Never.
65. Been easily amused: Have I ever been easily amused? Does that even make sense?
66. Laugh so hard you cry: I've laughed until tears streamed down my face, but I didn't start crying per se. So people actually start breaking down and bawling? 'Cause I don't call having your eyes water as a simple physiological reaction, and not an emotional one, crying.
67. Mooned/flashed someone: No, that would be cruel.
68. Cheated on a test: Oh, yes. In middle school and college. Like I said, I've been reprehensible.
69. Forgotten someone's name: Just the other day, a beautiful, big-eyed girl introduced herself to me in Exceptional Children, and I forgot her name about a picosecond after she said it. That is typical of me. To be more accurate, I tend not so much to "forget" people's names as to not listen to them in the first place.
70. Slept naked: I usually do.
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool: I think not.
72. Been kicked out of your house: Never.
73. Blacked out from drinking: I don't think so, but would I remember if I had?
74. Played a prank on someone: I guess, probably. Not something I think about much.
75. Gone to a late night movie: Sure, a few times. Like Rocky Horror, with friends, in college. We also made a point of seeing the "Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation" when it came to town.
76. Made love to anything not human: Good Lord, of course not!
77. Failed a class: Never. Must have been all the cheating.
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat: Not since post-infancy sentience kicked in.
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours: What the hell? Who does that?
80. Cheated on a significant gf/bf: I would never, ever do that.
81. Ate a whole package of Oreos: No, I don't like Oreos.
82. Thrown strange objects: I've thrown a lot of things. What's "strange?" I set a TV on fire and threw it off my dorm balcony once. Is that strange? I threw a chair out a window once. That's pretty typical.
83. Felt like killing someone: Sure, all the time. People are such pricks!
84. Thought about running away: Never. Where would I go that's better?
85. Ran away: Never.
86. Did drugs: I tried pot maybe a couple times, it never did anything for me. Nothing else except alcohol.
87. Had detention and not attend it: No, I went and tried to do homework, remember?
88. Yelled at parents: Yeah, too much.
89. Made parent cry: Yes, and I feel guilty about it.
90. Cried over someone: Of course.
91. Owned more than 5 puppies: No, I am not a crazy dog person.
92. Dated someone more than once: As in, broke up with them and then got back together? No.
93. Have a dog: I have a dog now.
94. Have a cat: I had a lot of cats over the years.
95. Own an instrument: I own a recorder that I had to buy for my "Art, Music and Physical Development" class. I learned to play "Twinkle Twinkle" and "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on it. I play them both badly.
96. Been in a band: No, I have no musical talent.
97. Had more than 25 sodas in one day: That's a hell of a lot. I doubt it.
98. Made out with a member of the same sex: Never.
99. Shot a gun: Oh yes, many times at the range. In the house too, by accident. Hee hee! I'm dangerously negligent!
100. Been online for more than 5 hours straight: Oh, I'm sure. Those blogs make fascinatin' reading!