Heart burning, still yearning

Blog is moribund. Nothing to say. Hiatus.

TV good

I went to work but still feel nasty. I'm watching the British series "Black Books," which is sort of a surreal English "Seinfeld" with a lot more drinking, and the American series "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," which is about as funny as a series about four incredibly unpleasant people can be.

I hate thunderstorms. I fear tornadoes.

List of things that are wrong

• I think I have the flu. My superhuman immune system is failing me!
• My poor dog is sick and the vet's medicine doesn't seem to help.
• A huge swarm of bazillion angry wasps have decided to make a next in the crevice of one of my outside walls. I was alerted to this by the menacing drone I could hear inside.
• The forecast calls for thunderstorms. "Thunderstorms may contain tornadoes." I think that last sentence should end with an exclamation point or something, don't you?
• I have to be back at school at 6:00 for a new parent meet and greet... but I think I'm going to pass on that.
• I have been officially bumped back down to the substitute rolls again. Well, it was fun being regent while it lasted.

Going to the zoo, zoo, zoo

All the kindergarten classes had a school trip to the zoo. It was exhausting but quite fun. Mr. C and an admin person took half of his room and the Head and I took the other half.

There was a truly immense gorilla lounging against the glass. He was about three inches away from my face. He raised his eyebrows at me. Also, I saw a lion very close up, maybe two feet away. He was chewing on a board with big feathers stuck onto it.

In general I'm not a fan of zoos, as I noted briefly here. But I managed to swallow my elitist pride and my misplaced indolent white liberal compassion, and hopefully the kids had a good time. I think the animals they enjoyed most were the penguins and the elephants. Those are good choices.

Oh yeah, as I said, Mr. C came back. He's looking rested and acting a lot more energetic, so I think he's here to stay. But I'm sticking in the room all day as well, at least for the rest of the week. That'll ease the transition.

What we dream and what we dream know

Tomorrow Mr. C comes back. The admin have still not decided who will be the teacher in the room; worried that he might continue with his absence-prone ways due to his health, they may just keep me in there and bump him to the substitute list. Of course, I'd be very sad to leave --- it's not very esteem-lifting to be just a stopgap teacher --- but I would never want to take a room away from its original teacher if he was raring to take it over. I'm going to assume that he's in and I'm out, and wish him the very best.

If Only They Could Talk

What I'd Like to Hear Democrats, Especially a Democratic Presidential Contender, Say To Republicans

"Cut and run? If you mean cut programs that benefit working Americans and run away from your responsibilities to the Constitution, I think that describes the current administration quite accurately. As for Democrats, I guess we'd like to cut and run away from the economic policies and war that have destroyed America's economy and reputation. I can embrace that definition, but on the whole I'd rather we talk like adults and drop the empty buzzwords."

"Withdrawal from Iraq does not mean an American defeat in the war on terror; that's a fallacy that this administration has propagated. Withdrawal at this point in time means a strategic redeployment. I suggest, in fact, that the war thus far has achieved two commendable goals --- the deposing of Saddam Hussein and the definite confirmation that there were no WMDs being made in Iraq. I submit that it is past time, therefore, for a strategic redeployment. I am eager to put our powerful military to work to make Americans safer. That means going after Al Qaeda (which has grown stronger since this misdirected, botched war), as well as any other terrorist group with a similar agenda. Finding bin Laden might be a viable goal, as well. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that occupying Iraq is making America safer. Quite the contrary."

"Defeatism --- another Republican buzzword. Again, I don't believe that withdrawal from Iraq means defeatism. However, if you'd like to outline a strategy for Iraq that would result in a clear, definable victory, I'd be happy to consider it when deciding on military options that will strengthen America. But I can't see how redeploying our troops constitutes defeat when there is no victory on the agenda."

"Remember when President Bush vowed that finding bin Laden was his sole and paramount goal? And then, later, when he said he didn't care about finding bin Laden? Was that cutting and running? Was that embracing defeatism? Or was that a strategic redeployment, as I'm suggesting?"

"For years, democrats have been accused of elitism. But Cheney doesn't think that American opinion should impact policy. This was also true during the unpopular Clinton impeachment; polls were ignored and even decried. So my question to you is, why is it that Republicans ignore what the typical, hard-working American family strongly feels about government and issues that affect them? Isn't that as elitist as it gets?"

"I would like to see our military, the finest in the world, fighting for the safety of the American people and to protect our Constitution, which I hold nearly sacred. Instead, what I see is our fine military being wasted fighting a war that is producing more enemies than it eliminates, while our reputation and coffers dwindle. Indeed, the only threat to the Constitution that I can see in the past eight years has been from this administration."

"Bear with me, please, as I read you a quote. I'd love to hear what you think.

I would like to suggest that there is no such thing as a left or right. There is only an up or down --- up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order --- or down to the ant heap totalitarianism, and regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.

Was that written by a liberal who was soft on terror? Well, perhaps this administration, the most extremely anti-freedom in America's history, would consider him to be so. His name was Ronald Reagan."

Saturday Cartoons: Tom the Dancing Bug #893

by Ruben Bolling

Indicate precisely what you mean to say

Today was Grandparents' Visiting Day at Prestigius. Hordes of oldsters descended on the classroom, milled around bemusedly as the kids showed them around (read books, played games, fed the animals), then left after 90 minutes with the kids in tow. It went very well, I thought. The old folks had no idea who I was, but they were very nice once I introduced myself.

***

I have a really terrible memory for names. Even now, three months into the new job, I'm still uncertain about a few of the teachers. And the students? I have Mr. C's class down and that's it. And yet, the other day I drove by the house of a kid who was in my car pool in seventh grade --- keeping in mind that was twenty flarking five years ago now --- and his first and last name popped unbidden and instantly to my mind. And I never talked to him at all.

I think that's a sign that I'm now officially middle aged. The past is more present than the past to me.

***

On the other hand, it's nice not to be a poor young man any more. I remember having to get $80 or so out of the ATM before grocery shopping and diligently tracking prices so I wouldn't go over that. Or paying for some with cash and some with credit card. Or just having the cashier take some items off.

It's nice now swiping the debit card and knowing that even if the groceries are $200, not only is the money there, it's no big deal to spend it. At least a little security has come with age, even though I'm still one of the most immature and irresponsible 37-year-olds I know.

***

It's fairly clear to me that this blog has become moribund. I'm just not getting any inspiration out of the job --- it's going fine --- and I no longer feel the impulse to pour my emotional and social woes into these pages like I did when I first started. I would have gone on one of my hiatuses a while back, but I'm hanging fire until next week when Mr. C returns. Perhaps that'll lead to a little bloggable drama.

Title Load IX

From here.

Hypotheticals: If you were an evil dictator, where would you rule?
America, of course. This is where I have the most vested interest, and it's broken. I'd fix it good.

Anything Goes: What was the most important issue in the last presidential election?
The war in Iraq, clearly. It's bankrupted us, made us an international pariah, and gutted our social infrastructure. And still our gas prices are high, oil companies are raking in record profits, and Osama bin Laden mocks us from his hideout.

No-Brainers: What is your favorite breed of dog?
I'll take a mutt any day, but if I had to pick a breed, I'd say I like boxers for their looks and their playful natures.

Personals: What is the worst grade you ever received? What class was it for?
I got a D in a required freshman course on the Western Canon (Homer, Hesiod, Hume, Apuleius, Virgil) because of some bad things I did that year that resulted in my suspension and expulsion from campus which led to a spiral of self-destructive behavior and apathy.

I hate my generation

I'm a geek and a pop-culture nerd, and I sincerely admire Seth Green as an actor and as a person (from what little I've seen and heard, he appears to be a level-headed, decent guy). So you'd think I'd enjoy his pop-culture parody show Robot Chicken. And yet, I thought it was mediocre. I laughed only about one minute out of every ten, and was straight-out bored for three minutes of every ten. It reminded me of Family Guy --- simply replicating scenes from shows and games in lieu of punchlines.

One aspect I did like, and that seems to be very popular in general, is the Star Wars vignettes.

"Luke, I am your father!"

"Nooooo! That's impossible!"

"And Leia is your sister!"

"That's... improbable!"

"And the empire will be brought down by Ewoks!"

"That's.... very unlikely!"

Back

Back to work. As usual, I find it physically and psychologically impossible to fall asleep before 11:00 p.m., but must get up at 6:15 a.m. no matter when I fell asleep the night before, so am running on 6 or 7 hours of sleep again. I'm tired all the time, but not drag my feet at work kind of tired, just sort of sleepy. Especially once I get home. But of course, utterly wide awake after 9 p.m.

Because we had Monday off and Friday is Grandparents' Visiting Day, it's a light week. Today I had the kids painting dinosaurs and writing a few lines on "what I did over spring break." (Yes, the boring essays start early.) For math, I had them do a sheet of subtraction problems that color-code to a dinosaur picture. And naturally we read Junie B. Jones, which I consider terrific, witty EC lit.

Mr. C, the room's original and beloved teacher, returns April 1. It's going to be kind of sad for me, but the kids will be happy to see him. Also, we are going to the zoo that day. Craziness.

You know, I am extremely lucky to have such a wonderful job. It's much less conducive to blogging than a job with a lot to complain about, though.

Don't ever tell anyone anything

Today is the last day of spring break. Yes, we get an extra day; it's Good Monday or something. Still, after ten whole days of spaghetti-O's and daytime TV, it's off to work tomorrow. Ah, comme c'est triste.

Speaking of haiku, here's an all-too-sad one on current events.

I took a year of Chinese ten years ago, and I've tried to stay at least at the level of a six-year-old in the Slow Learner class since then. I recently started meeting a tutor for an hour a week. When she emailed me about our first meet, she said, 'I'm Chinese with shoulder-length black hair." Not a very illuminating description, since (a) I knew she was Chinese and (b) all Chinese people have black hair. Also, she failed to mention her most distinguishing features: her glasses and wheelchair. Huh.

***

I read a terrific debut young adult novel by Frank Portman (aka Dr. Frank of Mr. T Experience), King Dork. I loved it.

It's sort of a postmodern meta-commentary on Catcher In the Rye, but more than that, and hard to explain. The title high school outcast (Henderson, or the more derogatory Chi-Mo) narrates the events that occur over one school year, when the discovery of his dead father’s books from high school (Catcher among them) open up disturbing questions about just how he died.

Meanwhile, having to deal with the "psychopathic sadists" at his school (students and teachers alike), girls he lusts after, making and breaking codes, learning French, having an expansive vocabulary, and the perils of forming a rock band all complicate his life --- the more so because every new thing in his life seems to connect to the past in some way. It all hinges on that old copy of Catcher in the Rye of his father’s, despite how Henderson views with contempt the Baby Boomer generation and their "cult of Holden."

The various threads of the plot are so convoluted and revealing (there’s a lot of foreshadowing and clues and delicious ambiguity) that I can’t do it justice with a summary. Portman has simply crafted an amazing joyride of a "young-adult" novel; it’s hilarious and poignant at the right moments, and ends up somehow being not only a commentary on music, literature, teaching, adolescence, sex, and family, but very much a Catcher for the 21^st century.

Though this is touted as a YA novel, it hit home with so-not-young me for a lot of obvious reasons (I was an outcast in school, I deliberately cultivate an expansive vocabulary, I was part of the Catcher cult between 15-20 years of age, I studied French, etc). It’s really an amazingly well-crafted novel for anyone of any age who distrusted or distrusts "normal" people.

The only thing that didn’t feel right to me was Henderson’s take on music: he listens only to punk, glam rock and bubblegum. While I’m sure there are a few teenagers today who profess to enjoy only music from the ‘60s and ‘70s, the music is presented only in album form: there’s no talk of mp3s or CDRs or even mixtapes. Clearly, this is Dr. Frank, born 1966, talking about the music he loves, and not Henderson, who is 15 in 2001. That’s a nitpick, though. Seriously, if I had read this book in high school, it may have Changed My Life. Just like Catcher did.

I'm such a dork, in fact, that I wrote a brief note to Frank about how much I liked it. He wrote back and said it was good to hear from someone who "gets it."

Winter in springtime

Spring Break's almost done
I read some books, saw some films
And shot three squirrels

It's Easter Sunday
Let us celebrate new life
Here's an Easter post.

The message should be clear, anyway

I saw Spinal Tap
On the big screen with Epalg
Six stars out of five

In the age of chimpanzees I was a monkey

Dinner with Friar
And his (pregnant again) wife
Life has passed me by

Boy looks for something to destroy

So much depends on
A simple quick text message
On a small gray phone

William Carlos
Williams was not all that
Great of a poet

Like my head against a board

This bar smells like smoke
It's crammed with youthful morons
Why do I come here?

Hot chick wants to play
Photo match game on our dime
We win big; she leaves

Waiting for my real life to begin

While thunderstorms rage
With junk food in my belly
I watch DVDs

Those haiku in French
What could be more pretentious?
鄙人不知道.

I'm a sorry entertainer

Ne pas travailler
Toujours au lit à neuf heures
Peut-êtr' faire une course

Je n'ai pas d'envie
De passer ma vie comme ça
C'est facile mais seul

Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair

Spring break is this week
I'll waste it dicking around
And haiku updates