Thursday, January 22, 2009

How to make a good, cheap salad

In which I'm not a nutritionist, but I act like I know what the fuck I'm talking about on my blog.

You'll need:

Cherry or grape tomatoes (if you can get both the red and gold kinds, do; lycopene is nature's miracle)
Black olives (tasty!)
Raw spinach leaves (packed with life-giving carotenoids, some of the healthiest stuff on the planet, and downright palatable when not cooked)
A couple stems of broccoli (may not taste like much, but fiber-rich; should be raw or just lightly steamed)
Shredded carrots (adds color and crunch and tons of Vitamin A)
Feta cheese (for taste and protein; but make sure it's hard and crumbly, not the too-soft, spreadable kind)
Freshly cut cucumber slices (and I mean fresh; cut them yourself, dammit)
A sprinkle of chopped garlic (lows blood pressure, reduces cancer risk)
Optional protein add: a few lentils or pinto beans

NO FANCY-PANTS DRESSING. Put a dash of olive oil on there (fat helps the body absorb lycopenes and other nutrients) and toss. I find this very tasty and appealing. Putting it together is a bit more work than the typical slob like me usually does before eating, but worth it.

EAT THAT SHIT DOWN RAW. NOW YOU ARE SO HEALTHY YOU COULD CARVE OUT THE GRAND CANYON WITH YOUR URINE. BUT WHY WOULD YOU?

7 comments:

Churlita said...

Mmm. That sounds good, except for the cucumbers. I always substitute zucchini for cucumbers whenever possible.

Chance said...

Oh, okay, I'll allow the zucchini.

Michael5000 said...

Can you leave out the tomatos if tomatos make you fucking gag?

Chance said...

Hey! HEY!

Michael5000 said...

The F-bomb? You dropped it in the first sentence!

Tomatoes making me gag? I CAN'T HELP WHO I AM, CHANCE. I'm a human being too ya know!

Chance said...

Primo: Yes, but I expected better of you.

Segundo: Really? Not a cleverly disguised chimp?

Michael5000 said...

Ixnay on the Impchay. I've got Mrs.5000 thinking I'm fully evolved.