Sunday, August 27, 2006

Can't be passive, gotta be active

Lately I've been in a life like limbo
Looking out of a smudged up window
We're not sure where our lives are going
Friends, it's summer outside but yet we're snowed in
--- Arrested Development, "Give a Man a Fish"

I was supposed to hang out with my former co-worker Joy and her babydaddy Che, but plans fell through.

***

I used to take the Dog for two walks a day. Because of the oppressive heat all summer and my combined work and school schedule, I have been slacking off quite a bit. My father comes over and walks her quite a lot, so no worries about Dog being cooped up all day. The toll, rather, is being taken out on me. I'm naturally very heavy for my height, being both broad-shouldered and fairly well-developed in terms of musculature, but lately that weight's gone up due to my packing on about 6-7 superfluous pounds around the midsection. Lifting weights don't help that! Hopefully with the weather turning, and me deciding not to be such a lazy ass, I will walk some of that flab off.

***

Things only tangentially related to me have got me thinking a bit about mortality again. I could go at any time. For anyone, our last day on earth might be today. I would like to strive to be the person about whom people say: "He really tried to make a difference in people's lives, and was great company." Of course, in practice I'm a supercilious, self-hating curmudgeon, but I'm trying.

***

Having a CDROM drive with music ripping capability is terrific. I've put about 50 of my CDs on my hard drive, and listen to a nearly 45 hour-long playlist on shuffle. Pure magic.

The downside is that I'm falling for the consumer trap that I try not to write into. That is, having ripped a bunch of songs for the first time, I find myself thinking I "need" an Ipod or an external hard drive, or some other gadget that I never thought about before.

However, you know what else is musically terrific? Bob Dylan's new album, Modern Times. I pre-ordered it direct from Sony. I loved Time Out of Mind, and grew to appreciate "Love and Theft", but this new album is one that --- for the first time in many years --- I find myself playing again and again. It's truly mesmerizing; my few listens have offered glimpses of brilliance, humor and wisdom throughout. It's a vein of gold that I'm driven to dig deeper into.

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