Monday, January 05, 2009

If it's information you want, you can get it from the police

I was at a friendly lunch that the Head threw for the teachers a while back. Now, I've mentioned before that the Prestigius faculty boasts an inordinate number of model-beautiful women, and I'm not exaggerating. But there's one teacher in particular who I think stands out. Slightly tall but not stork-like, blond hair, huge bust, thin waist, swaying hips, great legs, large eyes, sexy mouth, the works. Actually, her type of looks are not what attract me (my head tends to be turned by dark-haired, elfin types), but I'd be willing to bet that 95 out of 100 men would pick her out as the most beautiful woman at Prestigius. If I were casting a movie about Helen of Troy, I'd put her in the title role. So anyway.

A lot of teachers bring their spouses or boyfriends, and Ms. Helen comes in with her boyfriend... and I'm bemused. The guy is average height, sort of doughy, balding, and generally homely. He's not flashy. He does not move with the grace of a dancer or the quiet power of an athlete.

Sure, he's probably rich or something, but I decided that this man was put on earth to be the living embodiment of hope to all single, unattractive guys. Good for you, Homely Fellow dating the most gorgeous woman at Prestigius! You are a hero to us all!


I think I lost points with the Vice Head when I turned in a proposal (reimbursement sheet) for an upcoming conference without any information about how much it costs or what it's about, and under "In what way do you anticipate this activity will benefit Prestigius," I wrote "Ongoing education = more skilled teachers = school bragging rights."

Maybe I should take more things more seriously.


daveawayfromhome said...

I kind of figure that short, doughy, rich guys are the only thing saving us from dividing into two species - tall, well-built beautiful people and everyone else.

Rebel said...

Yeah, maybe he's rich... or maybe he's just a sincerely good man who loves her for who she is. Or maybe he's a loser and she has self esteem issues.

You're making a whole lot of judgements about these people based solely on their looks.

DJSassafrass said...

I am betting the dude is good in bed. Haha!
What Vice head wouldn't want his school to have bragging rights?

Churlita said...

I was thinking he was just a great guy. I would choose a funny, sweet,smart, honest and open homely guy over a looker any old day. You might sleep with someone just because they're hot, but unless you're really young and insecure, you go for personality, don't you?

Chance said...

Dave: love it.

DJ: That was the other option.

Ladies, ladies: I was mostly joking. Of course they're most likely together for the simplest and strongest reason: he's a nice guy, and she likes him... But where's the humor in that?