Friday, November 11, 2005

Animal Man Vs. Beast Boy

I admit it: today's COC fight is not exactly the Battle of the Century; indeed, it's a rather one-sided affair. It's just that the names involved make it seem like a cool match-up on paper --- I mean, Animal Man Vs. Beast Boy. Come on! It was meant to be.

Ahem. So, here we have family man Buddy Baker, a.k.a. Animal Man (representin' the big bad Justice League! Well, a Justice League, of sorts, anyway). And over there, we have the guy whose name I thought was Garth until I looked it up, comics' other Logan, Gar Logan, the hero formerly known as Changeling, Beast Boy (representin' the Teen Titans, baby! Take that!).

So. Beast Boy can turn into any animal, except his color stays green for some goddam reason. (You'd think if he had enough molecular control to change his form and mass, he'd have enough to change his pigment, but apparently no. Actually, this brings up an interesting point: what if he turns into an octopus or chameleon? Can he change color then? Oh, all right, it's not interesting). While, on the other hand, Buddy can mimic the powers of any animal on earth, though his form does not (usually) change.

This will be a real shellacking. Buddy is not limited to the use of one animal power at a time, while Gar, by virtue of shapechanging, perforce is. Buddy can fly; he can wield the strength of whales or elephants or even dinosaurs; he can shoot out clouds of ink or poison or numbing sprays; he can regenerate lost limbs. He can strike with the speed of a swift, the power of a bull and the reflexes of a fly all at once. Hell, if he so desires, he can make multiple copies of himself, as he once did in his own title, and take Gar down the dirty way. So basically, Beast Boy's gonna be a little furry green splotch on the ground soon.

The Champ. Posted by Hello

And remember, the champ's brutally murdered wife and children is always resurrected for him by a benign creator. Uh... well, something like that.

Next: Pow! Bang! SLAM!

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