Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Black Panther Vs. Wildcat

Today's fight pits T'Challa, the African Avenger, the deadly Black Panther, against the venerable Ted Grant, Justice League of America founding member, Wildcat. Yessir, Wildcat. (I figure two so-so links are as good as one well-executed one.)

Well now. When I first decided to feature today's match-up, I thought it would be a rock 'em, sock 'em battle between two fairly evenly matched, human-level warriors. The fact that they both have dark costumes and feline names only sweetened the deal!

However, upon doing a little light reading (Google, a few issues of T'Challa's title by Priest) I realized that it would be a rather one-sided affair. The Black Panther has a suit made out of vibranium, a fabric which, as I understand it, deadens sound, absorbs impacts from damaging blows, and breathes like cotton. Not only that, but it turns out that the Black Panther, clearly a dope-fiend from way back, gobbles some kind of herb to increase his strength and stamina! What a cheat! Oh yeah, and apparently he uses some kind of energy-knife now. An energy knife! He's the Tony Stark of Wakanda!

In contrast, Ted Grant is just an aged ex-heavyweight (who, by the way, at 170 pounds, would be considered a light heavyweight today, which is not one but two weight classes under heavyweight. Just saying is all, he's not that large a guy. Lennox Lewis, let alone the Klitschkos, would dwarf him). His costume? Made out of an unidentified but very mundane fabric. And it is, in fact, rather silly-looking. I mean, why did he include the little puff balls cats have under their noses? Even his name, when you think about it, is less than awe-inspiring. Here is a wild cat. Not too dangerous to human types. Which would you rather meet in the jungle --- one of them, or a black panther? I believe it was Mirror Master who once sneered, "Think I'm scared by ye? An old man dressed like a kitty?"

I rest my case.

In sum, Ted's decades of experience wouldn't help him much against a foe of T'Challa's caliber. The Black Panther beats Ted's ass down in double time. (Now, if they fought to the death, old T'Challa would get quite a shock when Wildcat poppped back up again after being killed and caught the Panther a hard one on the chin --- but T'Challa wouldn't go that far, so he'd get the win.)

The Champ.Posted by Hello

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