Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Cyclops Vs. Polyphemus

In our third COC fight, we have the wiry mutant leader of the X-Men, Scott Summers, a.k.a. Cyclops, up against the original Cyclops, the one-eyed Greek giant named Polyphemus.

At first glance, Polyphemus seems to outmatch the relatively tiny X-Man. Appearing in Book Nine of The Odyssey (I heartily recommend Robert Fagles' translation for your reading pleasure), Polyphemus is indeed a giant. Homer does not give us specific measurements as to his height or strength level, but notes that Polyphemus can easily lift a a massive boulder that twenty-two four-wheeled wagons could not pull. He also picks up two brawny warriors and dashes them against a rock, killing them instantly. Clearly, Polyphemus is no physical slouch.

However, this brings us to the nub: he is lacking in the brains department. He fell for Odysseus' wordplay and allowed himself to be plied with wine; he's not much the strategist. In contrast, Scott Summers has been leading the X-Men since he was a very young man, and knows one or two things about bringing down a more physically formidable opponent. He'd just keep his distance and pound Polyphemus with his laser blasts until the one-eyed monster falls. (Sounds a bit rude, doesn't it?)

The best thing about this fight is, it means Polyphemus can relive the humiliation he suffered under Odyssesus, when the hero told the oafish giant that his name was Nobody and confusion ensued:

(Cyclops kicks Polyphemus' ass and leaves. The other Cylopes, hearing his groans of pain, come rushing over.)
Other Cyclopes: What is it, Polyphemus? Who hurt you?
Polyphemus: Cyclops!
OC: A Cyclops?
P: Cyclops!
OC: Was it one of us?
P: No!
OC: Well, if it was a Cyclops, and it wasn't one of us, then you must have done it to yourself. Serves you right, you insufferable bastard.
(They leave. Polyphemus groans in pain.)

The Champ. Posted by Hello

And remember, the champ always gets the girl... until she turns into some kind of cosmic fiery entity that's bent on destroying the universe or something.

Next: Strange ould world, innit?

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