Sunday, November 20, 2005

Captain Carrot Vs. Hoppy the Marvel Bunny

[NB: this post originally written in March '05]

Happy Easter! May peace be your watchword this season.

In honor of the holiday, today's COC fight pits two super-powered rabbits against one another. The first is a rabbit named Hoppy, who, upon uttering the magic syllables "Shazam," becomes the Marvel Bunny (sometimes called the Captain Marvel Bunny). [Later, due to legal restrictions, he'd say "Alizam," get a blue costume, and be known as the Magic Bunny --- but legal, schmegal, he'll always be the Marvel Bunny to me.]

The leaping leporid that Hoppy must face in honorable combat is, in his daily life, a shy cartoonist by the name of Roger Rabbit. No, not the one from the movie, but a different, bespectacled DC character, who, when he eats a certain powered-up carrot, is transformed into --- what else? --- Captain Carrot, fearless leader of the Zoo Crew, one member of which team has already been featured here.

Well, now, these are both marvelous characters, in my opinion. That DC lets guys like this fall into comic book limbo is probably based on solid financial guesswork, but it's a shame nonetheless. I think little kids today would dig seeing funny animal superhero stories, but who knows? Maybe they're all too jaded these days with their Pokeymans and Digiridoos and sullen ol' Batman Beyond and whatnot. What's wrong with a little goofy fun, I ask you?

And speaking of goofy fun, let's get back to the fight. If either one of these rabbits were caught off guard --- Hoppy jumped before he could say "Shazalizam," or the good Captain snared before he could munch down his extraterrestrial root --- well, obviously it would be over before it began. So in the interests of fairness, both rabbits begin powered up.

Even so, it won't be much of a pitched battle, for now we discern one important power difference between the two anthropomorphized lagomorphs. While Captain Carrot has increased power, strength, and stamina (and perhaps extra-good eyesight?), Gnu York's most famous rabbit, alas, cannot fly. He can only hop for miles and miles like a tiny, long-eared Hulk. Leapin' lettuce! On the other hand, since Hoppy has all the powers of Billy Batson's alter ego, he can fly. Along with the other traits given to him by Shazam --- the speed, wisdom, power, etc. of, presumably, whatever Dread Elder Rabbit Gods exist on his plane --- this makes him quite the furry little powerhouse indeed.

Is Hoppy as strong as the human Captain Marvel, or is he only super-rabbitly strong? In the end, it won't make much difference. It's been established that Captain Carrot is weaker and slower than Superman (they've met), and lacks Supes' other powers like heat vision. Not only that, the Captain's no slouch in the strategery department, but he's probably used to having the Zoo Crew watch his back; he's a little soft on the mano-a-mano, or lepo-a-lepo, battles. So there's not much hope for ol' Roger, as Hoppy can fly circles around him, and pick and choose his attacks with swiftness and acuity. I'm not saying it'd be a carrot-cakewalk, but Hoppy would soon gain the upper paw.

The Champ, if only by a hare. Har! Posted by Hello

Next: Tall, dark and handsome

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