A bad egg

Today I handed out worksheets on the short vowel u. The kids had to write the appropriate words under such pictures as mug, bug, sun and so forth. One of the pictures, to my amazement, was a gun. I thought all schools had a zero-tolerance policy for even a mention of firearms. I was pleasantly surprised when many of the kids asked me in bafflement what the picture of the gun was. I reluctantly told them.

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One of our first-graders who gets free lunch tried to take a hard-boiled egg today. Things like eggs and box juice and ice cream and pickles are extras; they're not included in the $2.75 or so basic lunch price. Eggs cost an additional quarter. Well, he tried to sneak the egg out surreptitiously, and of course the hawk-eyed lunch lady at the register caught him, and he was so surprised and upset he dropped his tray and grapes rolled around everywhere.

Poor little welfare-fed guy. They can't treat him to a twenty-five cent egg? It's good healthy protein, for the love of Krishna. He's not in my class, but I may give him a dollar to get a side.