Sunday, September 02, 2007


The Larry Craig story interested me for a couple of reasons. One is that I'm always interested in sanctimonious public figures' hypocrisy. Also, who knew that running your hand under a bathroom stall was a signal for some hot gay toilet-seat sex? But actually, at first I wondered if he really may have been railroaded, since the whole story depends on a cop's opinion that a guy is acting like he is planning on doing something illegal. And having been on the receiving end of some cops' ideas of what looks suspicious, I'm not going to swallow blindly the word of the arresting officer. But then I read some of the interview transcript, and it does seem like poor Craig was cruising, if not for a bruising, for some severe public humiliation.

His resignation got to me reflecting on the scads of sanctimonious hypocrites that have been shadowed by scandal over the last couple of decades. So I made a list. It focuses only on sexual scandals, because detailing every venal US politician from the "party of values" accused of fiduciary corruption (Gingrich, DeLay, Calvert, K. Harris, C. Allen, J. Doolittle, Cheney...) would be a limitless endeavor.
  • Larry Craig - Republican senator from Idaho, accused of arranging a gay tryst, 2007
  • Ted Haggard - evangelical preacher linked to gay prostitutes and drugs, 2007 [but is now "completely heterosexual" - with religious-themes therapy he has now embraced "his heterosexual side," which is totally hilarious]
  • Bob Allen - Republican member of Florida congress, against gay rights, offered to blow a black undercover cop in a public bathroom, July 2007
  • David Vitter - Republican senator from Louisiana, identified as a client of DC Madam Deborah Palfrey, known for "abstinence education" and the "holy union" of marriage, the creep, 2007
  • Mark Foley - Republican representative from Florida, resigned when linked to solicitations of teenage boys, known for his public anti-pornography stance, 2006
  • Jim West - mayor of Spokane Washington, accused of sexual abuse of and trysts with young men, known for his public anti-gay stance, 2005
  • Ed Schrock - Republican representative from Virginia, quit his campaign amid rumors of homosexuality, known for his public anti-gay stance, 2004
  • Helen Chenoweth - Republican representative from Idaho, had an extra-marital affair in the '80s, of note because of Chenoweth's attacks on Clinton's immorality, 1998
  • Henry Hyde - Republican representative from Illinois, had an extra-marital affair in the '60s, of note because of Hyde's attacks on Clinton's immorality, 1998
  • Bob Barr - Republican (now Libertarian) representative from Georgia, accused of acquiescing to first wife's abortion and cheating on second wife with future third wife, really only of note because of his attacks on Clinton's morals, 1998
  • Bob Livingston - Republican representative from Louisiana, had an extra-marital affair, of note because of Livingston's attacks on Clinton's immorality, 1998 [interestingly, succeeded in the House by David Vitter, vide supra]
  • Bob Packwood - Republican senator from Oregon, linked to many years of sexual harassment, 1995
  • Ken Calvert - Republican representative from California, arresting for solicitation of a prostitute [a woman! whew! but a druggie! uh oh!], 1993.
My, what a motley crew of reprobates! Of course, if your church and your family forgive you, you've done nothing wrong --- unless your name is Clinton, in which case you're branded forever as the most loathsome bottom-feeder ever to stink up the White House with your abominable presence.

By the way, notice a pattern? Yes, they're all named Bob. No, they're all right-wing.

Now, there are obviously Democrats (like Clinton, whom I still think one of the best presidents we've ever had) who have strayed from middle America's ideas of core values, of course. But to my knowledge, those people didn't spend their public lives tirelessly trying to limit other people's sexual freedoms. Of course, I welcome corrections and additions.

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