My mother and I had a family therapy session with my father in rehab today. I suppose I should write at length here about how messed up both of my parents are: how my mother is shrill and vicious and lacks empathy and is incapable of taking care of herself and is slowly destroying her body and her property; and about how my father is a slave to his addictions and is too weak to face life's vicissitudes with a clear mind. And, of course, about how messed up I, in turn am: how I feel anxious about both of my parents, about whether they'll be taken care of in their dotage and how I ought to help them more but I really need to live my own life, and be happy without getting involved in their negativity.
But I won't.
***
I've been working afternoons at the Old Job. It's okay. I have nothing to say about that, either.
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4 comments:
Hang in there, Chance. Keep talking about it here; it can only help. I'm sorry things are so miserable for you right now. I hope this will lead to a better time for you and your entire family.
For all that you've had to and still have to deal with, you seem surprisingly not fucked-up to me.
I have to say the best thing I ever did was break off communication with both of my parents for a few years. This allowed me to focus on what I needed to do without dealing with their bullshit. When I felt like I could I started communicating with them again - I think everyone realized that I am their child (which means it's not my job to take care of their insecurities) and my own person (which means I have my own life to deal with). You have to accept them for who they are, but that doesn't mean you need to be their caretaker. Congratulations on the new position; I'm sure whatever reservations they have about you will disappear and your contract will be extended.
Thank you, everyone! You're so nice.
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