Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Slay the false and guard the real

Love is king with crown of gold
Without love a touch feels cold
Without love it just won't satisfy
--- Jonathan Richman, "Satisfy"

Penultimate observation sessions at H Elementary today. I went to a sixth grade class for the third time (how informative!). I observed a little bit of science seatwork, then a group bathroom break, then the transition of another sixth grade section into the room, then another long bathroom break (the whole class trundles out from one portable building outside, down the walkway, and to another portable where the toilets are). How helpful to my future career! What a valuable way to spend the students' time!

The next hour was an art class. First the first graders, then the kindergarteners, crafted something out of Model Magic (there was no set assignment, thankfully) and painted it. This was a fun experience. Some of the kids were quite creative: I saw everything from a monster attacking a building to a pancake to a family of snowmen. One Hispanic boy came up to me and showed me his piece: a snowman-like figure looking at a smaller figure holding a sphere. "He's said," the boy said, pointing to the small one, "because his dad won't play ball with him." Awww!

The teacher had the kids do their own cleanup. This worked better for the first graders than the kinders, who got a little carried away taking the pots of paint-tainted water to the sink and replacing it with clean water. Not only did they splash a lot, but they started carrying the clean water back again, just to be able to have something important to do again. One girl, whose arm was in a cast, got her belt loop stuck on a low cabinet handle next to the sink, and I had to rescue her, laughing. The teacher was sweet and patient and very nice, and it was all great fun. A boy gave me his picture of "Gozilla" breathing fire on a building, and when I helped the teacher escort the kids to the carpool waiting area, I had two or three kids hanging on both hands. Kids that age just naturally love me.

When I got home, I worked on my lesson plan for Math Methods due that day (TEKS 4.4A, on multiplication and division using arrays and area models). I stayed up past midnight last night doing the other Math assignment, a reflection on the Gifted and Talented program. Finished with time to spare and drove up to class. We worked on some algebraic stuff and geometry. Handy geometry tip: all squares are rhombuses.

I got 88% on my midterm, which I wasn't exceptionally happy with, but a 95 on the take-home portion. I'm far from a grade-grubber, but as this is for a career, I need to make As.


Some trouble on the Spooky front. After class, I called her and she asked me to drop by. I drove down to her place. Her door was open. I got out of the car and saw her sitting at the table. I heard peals of her laughter, and saw Babydaddy bend over to kiss her. I immediately got in my car and drove off, but then felt I needed to at least address the issue. So I called Spooky and had her meet me out front, where we talked for a bit.

I don't for a moment think she's still sleeping with Babydaddy. But they do have an emotional bond, obviously, and there's still a lot of affection that goes beyond the friendly there. I certainly don't want to wander into that kind of environment. I drove out of my way to see her, not to "hang out" with her and the father of her child, or to observe even the most innocent of interactions between her and someone with whom she has so much history. Elle asked if I was settling, being with Spooky; I think I am. There's a lot about this that bugs me.

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