Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Heartbreak, old friend, goodbye it's me again

It's a lonely, lonely feelin' when your Valentine is wrong
Of all the many things that you were countin' on
Well, there ain't none better than the girl who's movin' on
--- Old 97's, "Valentine"

Work. Long nap. No dinner at all.

Before Science Methods, met with T at the State School library. She was working on her MySpace page. Everyone I know seems to have one of those. I think I'm too old for those sorts of shenanigans. We had fun with that until we had to jog over to class.

In class we did an experiment with how water, vinegar and iodine affect salt, baking soda, corn starch and corn meal. We also made parachutes out of trash bags, washers and string. The point is to present concepts in the context of a student-centered activity, not as a lecture.

After class, T went to work out. She told me about some singles night at a bar, but I didn't want to go. Instead I met with Ram at the library, where she was working on a paper. She and I had a long and rather sad talk about how we're not going to date anymore. She said that part of the reason was my solipsistic attitude toward other people. (Oddly, a girl in class that I barely knew said jokingly to me just tonight, "You're not interested in anything unless it's about you.") Another part is her schedule. She said she was still attracted to me and still liked me. I said that in that case I didn't understand why we couldn't just date and see if it made us happy. She said her idea of dating was different than mine, which is probably true. Anyway, it's all too depressing.

It's K's birthday today, so the Maddening Angel was at the Hangout with her and a group of friends. She called me about five times to come out there, so I did. I had one drink and left before MA's new boyfriend could show up. There is no way in hell I could be around him, whoever the hell he is. It doesn't matter a bit; I hate him.

About three different people said to me today variants of the following: "I sure wish I could tape your mouth shut."

I've thought so much about suicide
Parts of me have already died

--- Old 97's, "Lonely Holiday"

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