So much unlearnt, so much resigned

This morning we had a meeting on employee practices. You know, show up on time, be professional, confidentiality, etc.

And, for the ladies, "no cleavage." As one of the administration said, "Cleavage doesn't just mean you have boobs." (That is, even flat-chested ladies need to keep the necklines high --- showing any expanse of chest skin is not professional.) Also, apparently some of them need to bring sweaters to wrap around their waists, for when they crouch down in those low-cut jeans.

Not that I would, uh, know anything about that. I always avert my eyes. (Damn all these dress code regulations!)

Oslo, we had CPR training. I've taken first aid and CPR classes for nigh on ten year now, and this was one of the easiest and briefest. Apparently, all the repetitions have been equalized, whether for adult, child, or infant victims: two breaths, 30 compressions. Good, because I never could keep all the different ratios straight.

We practiced our breathing and pushing on some dummies. Then we watched the instructor model how to use an AED. The AED talks, telling you to calm down. Apparently it even will tell you to push harder if you're not doing the compressions right. Next stop: android medics. The instructor happily encouraged us to rip out the victim's nipple ring, if present, before applying the patches. Several of my coworkers cringed and winced at that. I myself don't have piercings, or care to look at them.

The instructor even brought a little dog dummy. A teacher asked, "Are we going to learn how to blow a dog?"

Later, when the instructor was, yes, showing us how to perform CPR on the dog dummy, she mentioned variants in the procedure when trying to save gerbils. Yes, really. A Pre-K teacher dared me to ask how to revive unconscious lizards, so I did, and we were rewarded with a straight-faced story of a teacher who once revived a turtle.

Tomorrow: sexual harassment training.

Yes.... "I already know how to do that." I made that joke early and often.