Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley

Well, I was going to post about how stupid some of my classmates are (stymied by elementary math problems), but after I got home, Ram and I had a long, awkward conversation about how she no longer feels the way about me as she did before the break. I had long since surmised that already, but as always, having the cold reality of the situation handed to you is a bit jarring. She said, "I still want a relationship with you, but I don't think that it would ever be a romantic one." Yes, she said "relationship" rather than "friendship," but the meaning seems pretty clear. I've never been as rejected in such quantity as I have these last ten months or so. Thank God for Prozac! I joke, but I am sad and a bit bitter. This wouldn't be such a big deal if she hadn't acted so, so into me back in November. Cripes, why can't people know what they want?

So we talked as friends for a while, and she works out in Loserville all weekend starting tomorrow, so there's no chance at all of us hanging out this weekend, and... Well, I implied on the phone that I was willing to hang out with Ram as friends, but I'm not sure if that's true. I have friends I hardly speak to. I don't really need another pal. I'm in my mid-thirties, for God's sake. What I want is a serious romantic relationship. So, unfortunately, I think that Ram is now truly and finally out of the Chance saga.


Andy Land said...

Whenever you feel down about relationships, or feel rejected and as if you'll never be with anyone, do a little trick I learned years ago.

Go to a mall. Take a good long look at all of the people wandering around with wives, husbands, girlfriends, kids and the like. Then, just when you start to feel awful about not having someone, take a look at how fucking UGLY most of these people are.

There really will be a lot of sadly disfigured and malformed people walking around, hand-in-hand with other fuglies and their kids. Then you'll realize that there's more than jst "somebody" for everybody. There's a whole lot of people out there willing to be with you.

Seriously...scary stupid, ugly mofof with KIDS. That means there are always people willing to mate with anyone.

then just sit back and take pride inyour patience and the fact that you're likely no where near as unattractive or stupid as most of the mall fodder and will rise again.

Chance said...

Thank you, Andy. you know what? That really did bring a smile to my face. And yes... you're right about the mall.

Andy Land said...

It's all true. I used to get devastated with relationship stuff until I noticed just how many considerably unappealing people were able to function and get laid.