Saturday, January 21, 2006

Looking for the heart of Saturday night

A lazy Saturday. Despite A. E. Houseman's chastisements, I got up past 9, the sun already streaming down into my face. I watched some of "The Shield" with my father and then walked Dog.

Maddening Angel called. We were going to go hiking, but because she was doing some artifical tan thing where she can't sweat (ugh), we had lunch and then saw the Judy Dench and Bob Hoskins movie Mrs. Henderson Presents. Very good. The truly aggrieved yet still friendly bickering between the two leads, who were not romantically involved, reminded me a lot of MA and myself. There's a lot of tension between us, but it's forgotten quickly.

The Friar called to invite me to dinner with him, his wife Palfrey, Anacreon and his wife M, but I bowed out: who wants to be to be the fifth wheel? I later joined him for a drink at The Hangout, which was packed with college kids. One of the Friar's bands were playing. The Friar has been a very good friend to me these past months; I can't say he's helped me exactly, through no fault of his own but instead due entirely to the depth of my particular psychological afflictions, but I do appreciate that he's been kicking my ass mentally, telling me to shape up, telling me to get over MA and that she's not worth being with me, urging me to draw more, to start being creative in general again, and basically to feel better about myself. I am --- the Prozac is helping --- but it's hard when I can see for myself on a daily basis that I'm hardly what women typically find attractive.

Tomorrow I need to get working on school stuff. I have a few things due starting Monday.

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